The Science of Exercise

My sis received her degree in Exercise Science. This is probably as close as I'm going to get to understanding the Science of Exercise. Exercise and me have never been friends. In fact, for most of my life, we've been polar opposites. Growing up, I was short and skinny. I had nicknames like "hollow leg" because I could consume pounds of food without gaining an ounce. In 8th and 9th grade, I was nicknamed "emu legs" because my legs were so skinny, and I avoided exercise and PE like the plague. PE - The bane of my existence. Bianca wrote about her PE horror stories yesterday, and so my memories began to crawl out of the attic of my brain.

I got an "F" on my report card one six weeks for PE. There, I said it. Never to be taken back. I attended a small, private school during elementary school and so we had small classes, and therefore small facilities. Every 6 weeks we covered a different sport. Most of these were played at a park several miles away, so we'd change clothes and then get on a bus to head to the park. I missed the bus. Twice. I never got in trouble, never dreamed of misbehaving, but there I'd be - sitting in the principal's office. The only one that couldn't go to PE because I had missed the bus. Humiliations galore. This alone didn't cause me to fail. That is due to the 6 weeks that was spent studying the "sport" of bowling. We'd go to the local bowling alley everyday and bowl. This was not the issue. The issue was at the end of the six weeks, we had a test on bowling. Does it get any worse than this? To have to add up the scores for imaginary frames? This is combining my two worst subjects - PE and Math. I was doomed before I even picked up my No. 2 pencil. Later, I received my test back. It had a large "F" in red ink. Blood red ink. As a preface to the blood that would be shed when I took my report card home.

I was too much of a rink-a-dink for even recess. How I dreaded Red Rover, Red Rover. I was like 40 pounds in 5th grade!! I NEVER could break through the clenched hands that taunted me. I was a featherweight, but I was flexible. My exercise turned into ballet and gymnastics, and there I excelled. I wasn't tall enough, but I could do the splits like nobody's business. When I got into Jr. High and later, High School, I jumped at the opportunity to avoid the dreaded PE classes, and celebrated the end of recess. There was one option for me to avoid PE in Jr. High and that was Band. How this equivocated a sport, I'm still not sure, but I probably did my fair share of sweating in that hideous polyester contraption they called a "uniform". In high school, I became the pianist for the Jr. High choir. My fingers did the exercising for me.

Last year, I joined the Fitness Center in my building. (I can no longer consume pounds of food without gaining an ounce. I now consume an ounce and gain pounds.) I began toying with the elliptical cycle and treadmill, eventually gaining "some" muscle. (It's all relative, people.) Then I found Yoga, and the swimming pool. The words "non-impact" joined my vocabulary. So, that is where you will now find me on my lunch hour. Swimming laps or doing "downward dog". Maybe there is a science to exercise after all.